In reality the universe did not punish me for completely flipping my lid (and the lids of a few condiment containers) at the deli. Once I walked out of that hospital it wasn’t long before I completely fell in love with Ottawa, the city of my dreams. I’d never really had the chance to go anywhere before and I really wasn’t aware of all the amazing things that were out there waiting for me in the world. In school they don’t teach you shit about the world or anything relevant to real life.
So history is awesome and it’s important to take lessons from it, I agree with that, but what about the modern world! What do they teach us about that? Not a whole lot. At school my knowledge of the world went like this:
- Stalin is a dictator with a big moustache
- Hitler is a dictator with a little moustache
- Some guy named Borden has something to do with Canada
- Winston Churchill was one hell of a chain smoker
- President Roosevelt had a homemade wheelchair
- Pearl Harbor was a good movie
- Some people got trench foot and that was really nasty
- Canada became a country in 1867
- Steam trains are awesome
Now please tell me how this is valuable knowledge for the modern world. It did not help me pick a decent boyfriend. It did not help me keep my cool at the deli. It did not help me in the hospital. It did not help me with my cooking “skills.” It did not help me with dealing with harassment by people from a local church.
One time I was invited to a church supper by a girl from school, and since she was a nice person and had always been nice to me, I politely accepted her offer and went with her. There was nothing insane about that in itself, the cookies were good (after the food poisoning I hesitated to eat certain other things) and the guy playing the violin put on a good show.
Well, the fun turned out to be short-lived because after I wasn’t interested in their preaching and they found out that they couldn’t oppress me enough to get me exactly where they wanted me the mask came off and they weren’t so nice anymore. The worst part is that I didn’t even string them along, I told them straight up, nicely and politely that I wasn’t interested but for some reason they couldn’t take no for an answer. Then the harassment came. First the driving by the house, then the knocking on the door, the emails and the phone calls and even trying to lure my friends in the hopes that I would follow. Well, I didn’t.
The last straw came when one of them broke into my car but they didn’t take anything, instead they left something. I didn’t even look at their damn catalogue, I set it on fire and threw it in the parking lot of that cult establishment as I drove by one day while they were there. To me that was really just a taunt to tell them to come back for more (and then I’d file a restraining order) but I had no further problems with them after that. I guess maybe they took it as some satanic ritual and I defiled their church and if so then I’m happy about it, despite that I know nothing about witchcraft or much of anything.
And the sad thing is that such screwed up people give a bad name to normal religious people, which make up some 95% of the religious community. The dude that lives next door to me is Catholic and he doesn’t behave like that. I ended up eating at a Jewish restaurant several times in Ottawa (kosher is actually very good) and the Jews didn’t behave like that. The Muslims at the shawarma shop didn’t behave like that. But I suppose that there are radicals in every group and some people probably call me a radical too.
Really I don’t hate God or religious people but I suppose that after this experience I’m more understanding of people like Rudolf Höss who become disillusioned by such organizations after bad experiences. That’s also my story with school, but I think I’ve made enough nasty comments about that already. I’m just glad it’s over. And I’ve learned to never accept dinner invitations from anybody else after that too.
So basically what I was getting at about my little vacation in Ottawa after getting out of the hospital… Damn the streets were so clean there! I saw so many people walking barefoot on the sidewalk and it wasn’t because they didn’t have any shoes! The boys and I took this awesome tour around the city in this amphibious bus that also took a dip in the Ottawa river. It was the coolest thing in the world.
Ottawa also has a whole lot of museums and historic sites. There’s the Parliament but back then it unfortunately wasn’t the very handsome Justin Trudeau in office so I didn’t take much interest in it. The boys and I rode around on public transit a good portion of the night but Ottawa really isn’t party city. It’s the complete opposite, it’s business city.
We stopped at a costume store and we dressed up Nick as a girl and if it hadn’t been for his disheveled facial hair he probably would’ve been a pretty decent girl. We took him around town but much to my disappointment there wasn’t much of an uproar about it. In my shitty little town WWIII would’ve broken out and the people at Tim Horton’s would’ve talked until their lungs gave out, but not in Ottawa. The people are surprisingly cool there. They aren’t like in Lac-Retsina. They are like a whole other breed of human. I really fell in love with them during my time there and I was severely depressed when I had to go back to Lac- Retsina. I freaking hate that place.