Reading over this entry one again I’m happy to let you know that I indeed plan on posting about some of the places I’ve been and the things I’ve done in the near future once I get other things out of the way. I have two dozen half-written articles just waiting for me to have the time and do something about them so hand in there, I’ll get to them eventually.
Date originally posted: July 20th 2017 (9:37 a.m.)
Well, it’s been over a month since I’ve posted on here now. Honestly, there’s just been so much on my plate that I haven’t been into doing anything online these days except shopping when necessary. There’s just that amazing convenience with Amazon and eBay where you can get even basic necessities sent straight to your door. It’s especially great when you live in an isolated rural area and things are often inaccessible or unavailable. For me it’s been a lifeline ever since I got the internet. A whole new world opened up in ways that I never thought possible.
So much for relaxing and just hanging out this summer. So much has happened and I still need to do so much more. Hopefully next month I can take a few road trips with my friends because big changes are also looming around here. I’ve set things up to move out and change regions completely. That won’t be happening in the immediate future because I have things like breaking leases to get done and a bunch of other jargon that needs to happen first before I can just get up and go and of course there’s the issue of money. I haven’t figured out all of the costs yet, but so far so good for the budget. I only have to save up a little more and by the end of the year (provided I don’t need the money for emergencies) all should be in order. After that, I haven’t decided yet.
I’ve also finally managed to terminate some friendships gone sour. It’s never pleasant to do, but I’m glad it’s done now. First of all it’s hard for me to get close to people and once I manage that, it’s also hard to leave them even after things get sour. I don’t find it hard to be sociable or to interact with people in general, but opening up and getting close to another person is a completely different story. Writing these bogus blogs online have helped me with that though.
My communication skills have never been very good. When I was growing up I was not allowed to express my feelings and now when they come out it’s like an explosion sometimes. That’s not good and neither is keeping them bottled up inside so I’m kind of still figuring out the grey area in the middle and finding out where I stand in regards to that. I’m not gone though, just because I’m more silent than usual and my pages might not have much activity for a while, I’m still very much around. Once I come back from my road trips I would love to post a mini series about discovering the region I traveled to. I’ve been doing some digging to find stuff ahead of time too so I’m even more looking forward to this now.
I’m gonna quit here for now, until I have something better to share.
This is an old post from my LiveJournal account that I’ve recently cleaned up but didn’t want to completely get rid of everything and I’m glad that I’ve preserved my about half dozen entries or so because this is a very important one. Anti-Semitism (and racism and discrimination in general) is rampant and never seems to go away. Did you look at CNN or any other American news outlet recently? The entire country is going crazy. Up here in Canada it’s not nearly as bad, but we certainly aren’t free from the monster. In the near future I want to continue posting about this topic because I can’t just sit here and do nothing anymore, despite that I’ve never felt so powerless in my life before.
Date originally posted: June 14th 2017 (7:23 p.m.)
Not much to add today, just my roommates driving me crazy for the millionth time. The more this goes on the more I want to live alone. Of course many things need to happen in order for that to happen before I’m able to do that, but I might just get that process started. I think it would do me some good to get away from all of this. Of course there are many advantages to having a roommate or two, the biggest one being that things like rent are far less expensive. When they were all gone a few weeks ago I stayed home alone with my cat just watching TV and it got really lonely after the first week, but it was nice to just unwind after so much tension everywhere. I usually don’t go far or do much, but the two of them bring a lot of drama home and unfortunately I can’t exactly escape. We all share the same apartment.
Otherwise tomorrow it’s my birthday. At last! I was really getting hungry for my cake and other junk food today. I wasn’t sure I wanted one this year because my mind is elsewhere but I ended up deciding to invite some people over and just take the day to relax and regroup. I’m no fan of conventional birthday parties, I much prefer a relaxing day spent in good company and thinking about things than matter than going crazy. I might wanna go to the park and read the Quran or something, that is if the weather holds up for an outdoor adventure. I haven’t checked the weather forecast yet today but most of the time it’s not accurate in this region. Things change way too fast and the best way to determine the weather is to look outside the window.
I finally got back to going on WordPress and Tumblr regularly after not really being there for a while and only posting a few minor things. I changed most of my names (not username, just public name) on my social media to 42375 which is the number I picked for my tattoo, which was my grandpa’s service number during WWII. Honestly it makes me sad to see all the rampant anti-Semitism all over the place, from right here down the street to governments and institutions spreading it around across a good chunk of the Middle East. It’s truly unfortunate that many Muslims are systematically taught to hate Jews despite that the two communities have lived in peace for over a thousand years until just very recently the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Personally, I believe in a two-state solution. Each person and each nation has the right to be itself and to live in peace. Peace, isn’t that what we all want?
After all of these years there’s no way to have peace if you give the whole land to only one side. The other will rise up and cause another conflict because there has been way too much meddling from all sides including the outside for this to ever end peacefully because each person believes that the place is rightfully theirs (I won’t get into that right now) and unless there’s a compromise with each side getting something equal, tensions are only going to rise more and more. You cannot blame the entire Jewish population for what an oppressive regime is doing and you can’t blame the entire Muslim population for what a few radical Palestinians are doing either. Everything about this situation seems to have been tainted by everybody meddling in it without ever bringing about a resolution.
I hate it how Islam is often portrayed as being some anti-Semitic cult because of that ongoing conflict. We are supposed to maintain good relations with Jews (and all others for that matter), not hate them or want them gone from the face of the Earth. Plenty of Muslims perished during the Holocaust too, as well as Polish and Slavic people, homosexuals, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Gypsies, communists and endless others despite that the number of Jews was much greater than any of the other “unwanted minorities.” We also forget the stories of the Muslims who saved Jews during the Holocaust, the most famous stories being the ones of the Albanian Muslims. Muslim-majority Albania was the only European country that had more Jews after the war ended than before it started.
Have we forgotten about all the imams (not to mention countless other individual Muslims) who visited Auschwitz on more than one occasion? The photo below is from a trip in 2013 and there was another one in 2010. Undoubtedly in moments of anger we’ve all wanted to figuratively send someone to Auschwitz, but emotional reactions during a conflict are completely different than the horrors that actually happend there and all the other camps like it. If I can take any lesson from this it’s that we must stop making issues and conflicts all about ourselves and instead focus on humanity, because the world needs a whole lot more of that right now.
Muslim leaders from across the globe paid tribute Holocaust victims this week during a visit to Auschwitz, the former Nazi concentration camp, where they prayed at the Wall of Death for those who were killed by genocide and suffered under violent anti-Semitism.
The imams, who hailed from Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Bosnia, Palestine, Indonesia, Nigeria, Turkey and the United States, performed Islamic prayers while facing Mecca as part of a Holocaust awareness visit organized in part by the International Religious Freedom office of the U.S. State Department.
“What can you say? You’re speechless. What you have seen is beyond human imagination,” Imam Mohamed Magid, President of the U.S.-based Islamic Society of North America, told Agence France-Presse.
“Whether in Europe today or in the Muslim world, my call to humanity: End racism for God’s sake, end anti-Semitism for God’s sake, end Islamophobia for God’s sake, end sexism for God’s sake… Enough is enough,” said Magid, who leads the All Dulles Area Muslim Society in Northern Virginia.
Here’s yet another deleted LiveJournal entry. Note that this one deals with topics of suicide. If this is something you are not comfortable with please do not proceed.
Date originally posted: May 23rd 2017 (10:30 a.m.)
I’m currently sitting here watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. I’ve been working on finishing this series for the last four days now. I’ll be done today if everything goes according to plan. I read the French edition of the book “Treize Raisons” around 2013 or 2014 and enjoyed it quite a bit but I must also admit that I’ve forgotten much of the smaller details of the story since then. Back then I too was a depressed and destitute teenager, in 2014 I was homeless at 18, so it comforted me considerably in my time of need. I understand that there’s some controversy surrounding it, fears of it triggering suicidal people or glorifying teenage suicide, but for me it validated my emotions. I felt like I wasn’t alone for one of the first times in my life, despite that this comfort came in the form of a story that is entirely fictional.
Unfortunately suicide isn’t just fiction to me. In 2012 there was a girl, her name was Amanda and if she were still alive today we would be the same age. But she’s forever 15, and I’m about to turn 21. I have a tattoo on my arm in memory of her but most of the time it’s just another piece of artwork that blends into the paysage of all my other tattoos on that same arm. There’s a broken heart, an original piece by another person who also took his own life. He was 17. This year he’s been dead as long as he’s been alive. Next to that there’s a yellow semi-colon, which is of course a Semicolon Project tattoo. Many of us get those tattooed after experiencing traumatic events in our lives and I’m unfortunately no stranger to those. I generally don’t want to talk about it, in fact I never want to talk about it face to face with another person and if it wasn’t for the TV series I wouldn’t be writing this either.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, maybe I’m just trying to make sense of emotions that have lingered inside for far too long and I don’t know what to do with them. Growing up I was never allowed to open up about my feelings and now as an adult I struggle a lot with dealing with emotions, regardless of whether they are new or in the past. It’s something I’m constantly working on and I hope that this page will help me in doing that or at least taking a step in the right direction. One day I hope to walk among the rest of them, just a regular civilian.
Here’s another one of my deleted LiveJournal entries. I’m currently making some room on that blog to host different content. Enjoy 🙂
Date originally posted: May 17th 2017 (1:18 p.m.)
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything anywhere, but for once this time it will be something far more positive than any of my previous entries. The situation with the neighbor is far better. I’m not sure I could use the word “resolved” because my idea of resolution would be to be friends with the guy like I was with my previous neighbor but there’s no way in hell that’s gonna happen that’s for sure. Anyway, the housing board’s big boss paid us a visit in person and I don’t know what kind of dealings he had with the nightmare next door afterwards, but there hasn’t been a single sound out of that place in almost two weeks! It’s seriously weird to have such peace and quiet in this place but I’m definitely not going to complain!
The most I’ve heard was the dude puking in his car. Yup, I had the window open and I heard whatever was in his stomach come back up. Then I looked outside and saw that he was dragging a disgusting vomit-soaked towel out of his car. Later that afternoon he washed the entire vehicle both inside and outside so he must’ve made quite the mess. My grandmother said she heard him puking in the bathroom again last night. Aside from his excessive noise (which we haven’t heard of for a while thankfully) you don’t hear any noises coming from next door unless we are both in the bathroom. My grandmother was taking a sponge bath while he was vomiting his brains out next door. In the past he took one nasty cocktail or drugs and alcohol which landed himself in the hospital. I remember when the ambulance came that evening the lights were flashing all over our unit and we first thought the ambulance was picking up a different neighbor, who has passed away since then.
Otherwise yesterday my roommate and I went on an epic garbage run. The municipality is doing the annual spring cleanup event where you put large trash objects at the end of your driveway and municipal workers will pick them up for free over two weeks in mid-May. I’m telling you that the municipality doesn’t pick up much by the time the townspeople are done sorting through the trashy treasures! I really appreciate the fact that they let us pick up garbage like this because I’ve found so many good things like you would not believe!
My biggest find is a Horizon treadmill. On their website these treadmills sell for over a thousand dollars! And yep, I picked one up right there on the side of the road. It’s fully functional, it just needs a good cleaning because it rained and the person’s dirt driveway turned into mud before I picked it up. Another epic piece I found is a beautiful little white cabinet ditched along with other junk on a different street. It only has three legs, it’s missing a leg in the back but it stands up straight just fine and if you shove it in a corner you won’t even see that there’s a leg missing. Alternatively I could just put a makeshift one and paint it white. Since it’s in the back and the front legs are wide you probably won’t even see it.
I’ve collected so much more and I fully plan on calling down some other garbage collector friends when they are off of work this weekend to pick up more. It’s unbelievable how much good stuff is discarded like that. All the things I picked up are not items I would simply put in the trash like that. I collected almost $3000 worth of things on the side of the road for $0 and all of it is in excellent working condition, minus needing to be cleaned. In past years that I lived in places where they did things like this I also picked up amazing things. Half of the town collects on the side of the road like this and I simply cannot wait to do it again!
One last thing before I go, I got a tattoo appointment for the end of August to get my Holocaust tattoo that I contemplated getting last time. I’m probably going to get multiple tattoos done at once because it’s usually more cost-effective that way and I haven’t been inked in two years so it’s time. That’s all for now but I’ll be back to tap on the keyboard more later.
Since I’ve decided to clear my LiveJournal page and didn’t want to permanently delete all of the entries, I’ve decided to post them here in order to preserve them. I’ve kept them completely intact, in case somebody needs entertainment and stumbles upon them 😛
Date originally posted: April 13th 2017 (9:16 p.m.)
I’ll say it right off the bat… I have no clue what I’m doing here. I guess maybe I’m looking for an outlet, a personal space to share my deepest inner thoughts away from my social issues rants on WordPress and my obsession with 20th century history on Tumblr, among other things. I’ve become rather disillusioned with writing pen to paper because these endless journals only seem to pile up and gather dust under my bed or somewhere else in my room. At least here I’ll be able to discover something new and interesting every day, and maybe somebody will even think the same about my own profile. Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m doing here.
I also wanna practice writing because I aspire to publish a book someday. I’ve already decided to go ahead with CreateSpace as I’ve heard nothing but positive comments from some of my author friends who have published with them. I also have two great ideas for two separate novels. Really, I only need to get a move on with it. Staying motivated to expand my creativity is probably the hardest part because I’ve been struggling with my emotions and when this happens I would just rather bury them deep inside of me. I know, I know that’s not good, but it’s exceptionally hard for me to do it any other way.
I also hesitate to open up to others because most of the time all they do is invalidate my emotions and do me more harm than good. Growing up I was never allowed to express myself. I was not allowed to cry, to complain or even to ask for help. I know that has contributed a lot to how I am today with not being able (or wanting) to open up to other people. I also hope that coming here will help me with that down the line. I know I’ll need to get out of my asocial comfort zone if I’m going to be an author. I suppose that this is the first step. I suppose that the most I can do is see where this goes.
I’ve set up a series of articles to automatically post during the next two weeks as well as for a couple more weeks next month and also in October. They are all about the Zaidi sect of Shia Islam where I draw most of my inspiration from. These articles have not been written by me though, I came across them in a now inactive blog (all of my posts have links to the originals) and I was hoping to revive the interest in them considering their popularity at the time.
With that said, I will also be absent for a good chunk of that time but I will be returning in November with a bunch of other things to write about. I look forward to be around y’all again then, as I’ve seen that my pageviews have spiked over the last couple of months 🙂
I’ve posted about forgiveness across different religions and traditions many times before but after seeing this story while researching the Holocaust for a book, I felt compelled to share it. The Scriptures have commanded us to forgive since the beginning of Judaism and science backs up the benefits of forgiveness on a person’s health and well being too. Now read this story for yourself and be inspired ❤
I also wanted to add this one but for some reason it would only say ‘error’ when I tried to add it. I hope that these little things have enlightened you, or at least reminded you of important things that many Muslims seem to have forgotten.