Posted in Books & Stories

Lost Thoughts — Volume One: Motives

I suddenly wake up, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Today was graduation day. For the past three years, I had been intensely studying spells at Red Velvet School of Magic and Witchcraft. I thought I had finally perfected a spell, and today after graduation, I would put it to the test. I take a deep breath and get out of my bed. The clock indicated 6:30 on this chilly April morning. The sun was just about to rise over the city of Dublin.

I open the patio door of my 13th floor apartment and breathe in the cold morning air. It was so pure, so fresh. Content of myself, I close the food and go take a cold shower before putting on my favourite black jeans and the long sleeved black and white shirt with horizontal stripes. I comb my short red hair to the side like I always did and look at myself in the mirror one final time just to make sure everything was perfect.

With the satisfaction of looking in the mirror, I put on my army boots and head out. I step into the elevator and ride down to the empty lobby for my daily early morning walk. With the morning sun warming up the pale white skin of my face, I take a deep breath of confidence that today would be a great day. This afternoon, we would all graduate after the free lunch held by the staff to thank us for the great year they had with us.

I had just written my last exam yesterday and tonight would be the night that all my hard work over the past three long years finally paid off. With a big smile on my face, I walk down the crowded streets of this industrial neighbourhood in my hometown of Dublin. After my graduation I had big plans for myself and a certain group of individuals who had extremely wronged my in the past.

After my unusually long walk, I invite five people for a little graduation “after party” in my apartment. The first one was my longtime elementary school bully, Melanie. The second, my abusive ex-husband Ridge. The third, my brother Allan, the fourth, Jeremy, a local police officer and last but not least, the fifth, the owner of the building, Roger. All people whom I didn’t speak much to, but whom all thought I was their friend and totally forgave them for what they had done to me. I was, up until now…. Just to do this.

I set up a few things for my “party” before looking in the mirror one more time and going to my graduation ceremony. My friends, classmates, and staff ate our free lunch in cafeteria, enjoying ourselves, laughing, and having fun. We reminisced about old times and good memories spent here together in college. The long ceremony afterwards lasted all afternoon but in the end I left the building with a diploma in my hand and a big smile on my face.

Back in my apartment, I make the final touches to the dark decor and patiently wait for my guests to arrive. The first one to arrive was Roger, the owner of the building. I smile and invite him inside. We sit down and casually talk until my other guests arrived one by one. First my ex, then the bad cop, my brother and my longtime enemy.  They all patiently sit down on the couch while I go into another room to get their drinks. Ice cold beer how about that? Not to mention a sedative mixed in with that. One by one, they slowly complain of being tired and wanting to leave but I prevent them from doing so.

I stand in the door when Jeremy attempts to leave and start reciting my spell. In the matter of a few seconds, all my guests were shrunk down to only an inch tall. They almost instantly fall asleep so I pick them up one by one and place them in a bucket until they wake up. My ex-husband wakes up first so I grab him and lift him out of the bucket to look at him. I could see him begging for his life despite that his voice was too low for me to understand anything he was saying. I grab him with a pinch and hold him up high in mid air. He did everything he could to get out of my grip but without success. I would make him pay for the 4 years of abuse I endured at his mercy.

“This is for all the times you’ve hit me, slapped me, and pushed me against the wall.” I tell him as I swing my arm and throw him against the wall as hard as I could.

There was no blood, but his lifeless body lay motionless on the floor like a forgotten piece of dust. Too bad the others couldn’t see what kind of fate was waiting for them.

The next one I grabbed out of the bucket was Melanie.

“Oh poor sweet innocent thing.” I tease her.

She, too, begged for her life but out of all people I had ever met in my life, she was the one I hated the most. Ever since first grade, she had been there to watch my every move and to make my life as miserable as se could. It had worked well in her favour for 8 long years, Now it was payback time.

“Don’t you wish you had died instead of lived?” I keep taunting her. “Those were your exact words to me when I returned to school after my big accident. Now I shall ask you the same.”

She moves around and cries as I held her high in mid air just like I had done with Ridge.

“You know perfect little Melanie,” I begin, “I’d just be cleaning the Earth of it’s scum.”

I grin even winder as I squeeze her tight and then drop her in a box full of cockroaches.

“They are the same as you.” I whisper as I let her go.

I then return to the bucket and pick up my brother Allan. He was relatively calm compare to the others. I guess he knew want kind of fate was waiting for him. All these years he had told me never to take a drink, while he was just an alcoholic himself. He also didn’t know how to swim, so I grab him and shove him down a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I put the lid back on and patiently watch him drown. My only regret, would be to waste such great whiskey.

I then pick up Roger out of the bucket. He had locked me inside of my own apartment once. He and Jeremy had proceeded to violate me and steal some of my belongings. Of course I couldn’t do anything, because one of them was a police officer and the other would throw me out in the street. For Roger, I put him in a Ziploc bag and watch him suffocate. It’s for Jeremy that I had the real surprise. I go to my room and grab the shotgun out of my closet. I load my 12 gauge and chamber a cartridge. I then grab Jeremy and shove him down the bore. I walk outside and pull the trigger, pointing into mid air. With a loud popping noise, droplets of blood fly out the barrel of my gun.

I smile.


Liberal Muslim, social justice and human rights activist, cat lover, author and fellow human.

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